Note To Self: Go At Your Own Pace

September 15, 2016

Roses - Note to self: Go at your own pace

The last couple of weeks have been full of revelations for me. I don’t know why, but something has clicked in my mind. Last week I began seeing the benefits of my new mantra, ‘Done is better than perfect’ and this week I’ve realised whether in blogging or everyday life, I should go at my own pace. This is new to me because I’ve always been quite ambitious and worked hard to move up the career ladder, get our home looking lovely and bring up Tutti in a way deemed acceptable by all those sancti-mummies waiting to pounce. I’m always rushing to get things done and wanting everything to be as good as possible.

But the realisation that I should stop to smell the proverbial roses once in a while and go at my own pace, started to take root a couple of days ago when I just wasn’t in the mood for blogging. I sat down at my computer and no words came out. Zilch. I spent ages going through my ideas list, starting to write a post and then saving to draft. After an hour of self-admonishment for being so crap, I suddenly asked the question, ‘Why?’. Why was I killing myself trying to find something to write when I obviously wasn’t in the zone? Why was it so important?

The answer to me was clear. I was trying to keep up. Even at this early stage in my blogging life I was trying to maintain a blog post schedule like I’d read was so important to do. Consistency is the name of the game if you want to be successful in blogging and with that fact ringing in my ears, I was forcing myself to write. I don’t know what I thought would happen if I didn’t publish a post – maybe that the blogging police would arrest me for piss poor effort?

MAKE YOUR OWN RULES

So after talking myself down from my keyboard and eating a comforting piece of coffee and walnut cake, I realised the world had not ended. My blog had not exploded. My readers had not abandoned me. And that’s when the revelation hit; I should go at my own pace, not ‘theirs’. I read some fabulous blogs. Some of them written by pro-bloggers who’ve been honing their skills for years and some by rising stars. Many of them seem so ‘on it’, posting daily and always on every social media platform.

But I have to remember that everyone is at a different stage in their journey and I’m at the beginning of mine. Although I’m keen not to make a newbie faux pas, I’ve realised I don’t have to follow all the rules. I’m still working out where I fit in and finding my voice and audience. So I’m free to post because I want to, not because I should.

GO AT YOUR OWN PACE

DOING IT MY WAY

I also have to remind myself I’ve chosen not to work full-time and in this phase of my life I’m a stay-at-home mum. I started blogging as a creative outlet and a way to connect with actual adults. Yes, I’d like to see if it develops into something more, but so far I’ve loved all the chat with fellow bloggers, reading and commenting on lots of blogs and feeling my quickening heartbeat when I see one of my posts has resonated with people. I’ve learnt an incredible amount over the last few weeks, from setting up a blog to managing multiple social media channels and endless amounts of technical detail. But I now know that to keep enjoying what I’ve started, I need to do things my way.

I don’t need 1000s of readers today or tomorrow. They’ll either come at some point or they won’t and I’m OK with that. It doesn’t mean I’m not committed or don’t care enough, it just means I’m realistic about what I can achieve with the time I’m willing to give right now. I get a real buzz when someone comments on my post or likes an image and I’d love to be getting more and more of this every day. So I’m slowly going to work towards it by doing little bits here and there. Softly, softly catchee monkey, as they say.

To anyone having a, ‘What am I doing?’ moment, I’d say just be honest with yourself about why you’re doing it, how much time you can happily commit and what you’re trying to achieve. We all have a different definition of success, so we must do what is right for us. Life is a balancing act after all.

I also plan to use this new approach in my home life. To be honest I generally do things my own way anyway, but there is always that bit of self-doubt that creeps in, leaving me wondering if I should be doing more or achieving more.

So today I’m saying, ‘Slow down Kirst. Get there in your own way and go at your own pace.’

Have you had any revelations recently?

Hot Pink Wellingtons

 

Diary of an imperfect mum

 

A Cornish Mum
Follow on Bloglovin

27 Comments

  1. Reply

    Lucy At Home

    Are you sure you’re not writing this about me?! Haha. I am such a perfectionist and drive myself to post on my schedule simply because I have a schedule. If I step back and think about it, you’re right – nothing bad will happen. I really needed to hear this today. Great post!

    I especially loved this little sentence: “I’m realistic about what I can achieve with the time I AM WILLING to give right now” I think this is so important – I am determined not to let blogging take over my life (I am also a SAHM) but it’s so hard when I can see so much stuff that I could be doing better. But this sentence reminds me that I AM IN CHARGE of my blog, and I CHOOSE how much time to spend on it. #SharingTheBlogLove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Thanks so much Lucy! So glad to hear a fellow blogger feels the same. I must admit I’ve been surprised by how much work is involved, not only in producing the post, but in promoting it. It is really easy to let blogging take over your life (which is fine if you’re happy for that), so you need to keep yourself on the right happy track. Since I started I’ve spent every spare second doing something blog-related and I’m sure I’ll continue to spend a lot of time, but I’m going to try harder to enjoy my mum time too. Absolutely, you are in charge! x

  2. Reply

    Helena

    Well said. Remember why you started blogging was it for stats or memory making?. #ablogginggoodtime

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Thank you Helena. It’s so easy to get caught up in doing it ‘right’, but it should always be fun! x

  3. Reply

    Lisa

    I’m new to all of this too and have a whole list of things I want need to or want to learn, but one of my first rules has always been to write for myself first. I have found that blogging, even as my new hobby has taken over my life. Things you used to just do, are now ‘Ooh, that can be blogged’ and then I start thinking about how I might word the post etc. I think you,r ‘go at your own pace’ mantra is great advice. I shall add that to my, ‘write for myself first’ mantra. So, thank you for a lovely post and carry on enjoying this blogging journey x

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      So lovely to hear from a fellow newbie Lisa! Ha, ‘taking over my life’ seems to be a recurring theme on these comments. I think it takes everyone by surprise. You’re so right, your whole life becomes bloggable. The family next to me thought I was mad for taking a pic of my cup of tea the other day! Love your mantra too, definitely one to remember. Hope you continue to enjoy your blogging journey too. x

  4. Reply

    An imperfect mum (Catie)

    Absolutely spot on lovely as I said in my post the secret to being a brilliant blogger:
    The secret to being a brilliant blogger is simple. Write the blog that you want to write and be the blogger that you want to be! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Thanks you! Ooh, off to find your post right now! That’s a great way to look at it. x

  5. Reply

    Themotherhub

    Perfect timing for me to read this thank you ! In the blogging world it’s so hard not to compare yourself with others . But the great thing about blogging is that you can totally do it your own way . I have things I would like to achieve , but slow and steady , there’s no rush

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      I always think posts are meant to find you when you need them 😊 I guess that’s the thing about blogging, you can see everyone’s work laid-out in front of you, so yes, it’s so easy to compare. I’m a ‘go in with low expectations’ type person, so achieving anything is a bonus! You can do it. Slow and steady wins the race. x

  6. Reply

    Alana - Burnished Chaos

    This is such a great post, and perfectly timed for me. I’m new to all this too and have been putting a lot of pressure on myself to promote the blog and join as many linkys as possible and I’ve been enjoying it but it has totally taken over my evenings. I can’t remember the last time I watched a tv show or went to bed at a reasonable hour. My husband works away ten weeks at a time so I’ve had the nights to myself anyway, but he comes home next week and spending time with him on an evening is much more important and I was starting to worry how I would fit it all in. Now I am going to follow your advice, I’ll do it in my own time. If I don’t get to join every single linky every week the world will not stop x
    #SharingtheBlogLove #ablogginggoodtime

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      I totally understand Alana. Linkies have been a revelation, but you do have to be committed to take part. Yes, my evenings are very different to how they used to be too. I think it’s like anything, you get a little bit of recognition and then it becomes addictive! But we are in charge. We get to say how much or little we do. We all put pressure on ourselves, but ultimately we’ve got nothing to prove to anyone. Life is more important than ‘I’ll just do one more linky.’ x

  7. Reply

    Peachy and her Mommy

    I hear you loud and clear. I am also at the beginning of my blogging journey and sometimes it gets overwhelming. I rarely get done what I set out on any given day. And even then I feel guilty for not giving more of my time to my baby girl. There just aren’t enough hours in a day. We can only do so much. #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Absolutely!The never-ending to-do list is certainly very special…Good old mum guilt has a habit of creeping in, but it’s important that we have something for ourselves. It doesn’t mean we love our little ones any less 😊 Since I’ve been taking a more calm approach, I feel really happy with how things are going. When you lower your expectations a bit and realise life is not a race, suddenly it all seems so much more manageable. x

  8. Reply

    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love)

    Love this – going at your own pace and doing things your own way is so important. It is so easy to start feeling under pressure to blog, to try and keep up with everything but there are only so many hours in the day and why put yourself under that pressure if you’re just not in the zone? To me there’s only one real rule when it comes to blogging and that’s “be yourself – everyone else is taken.” I do love your other mantra of “done is better than perfect” – might have to take that one on board for myself too! 🙂 #triballove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      I really had no idea that blogging was so fast-paced. I think it is one of the mis-understandings of our industry. You don’t just press publish and then walk away. There is a whole host of work to be done to promote your posts. That’s a great blogging rule to live by. I feel so much better just thinking to myself, I’m a grown adult and I can do what I want. It’s my blog, so my rules! x

  9. Reply

    Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons

    I love this post! I know that I’m guilty of aiming for perfection and it’s definitely held me back in hitting the publish button on lots of posts. I’ll tweak and tweak and tweak and still not be totally happy. But I’ll also put myself under pressure to post to a schedule, because that’s what you’re ‘meant’ to do! The combination of the two leads to unnecessary pressure – and it’s only coming from me! I try to be less perfectionist in my blogging these days – it’s a blog, not a thesis – and if I miss posting one day then I highly doubt that there are readers out there crying into their coffee about it! Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Glad you enjoyed it Katy! It’s a hard life for us perfectionists 😉 Why do we do it to ourselves?! It’s so easy to become all-consumed, but I want to spend as much time as poss with my Tutti, so have to hold myself back. Rome wasn’t built in a day! x

  10. Reply

    Laura - dear bear and beany

    This was perfect timing me reading this tonight. I have been really struggling to keep up with a schedule that only I created, and no one is making me do. I do it like you say because its seen as what you are meant to do. Today I made the decision not to write a post for tomorrow and I am sure it will only be me and my mum that will notice. I am the type of person that when I do something I have to get it my all. But right now my children need that, blogging will have to wait. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Absolutely – blogging will have to wait! It’s so easy to become all-consumed with it, but it has to work for us too. Sometimes I say to my screen ‘you are not the boss of me!’ x

  11. Reply

    Susie - This Is Me Now

    This is spot on. I need to seriously Lowe my expectations! I loved writing my blog to start with but within a few weeks because engulfed in others, linkies, social media etc. I now feel worse. I feel crap, inadequate and wonder how on earth other stay at home or work at home mums are doing it whilst raising their children. My husband gets annoyed when I spend my evenings doing it too and he’s right. Life is more important. I only write when I can and when I have something to say, which sadly isn’t ever day! I’m going to follow your mantra and take it easy and take the pressure off!

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Aww Susie I know exactly how you feel. From the outside it’s very easy to look at blogging as ‘banging out a few words’ and sharing it on social. It absolutely is not this and since becoming a blogger I can’t believe how much work is involved. I’m the same, I find the balance difficult. I don’t want to always have my head in a screen, but it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of it all. I’ve read a few people saying ‘write for you,’ and I think that’s a good thing to keep in mind. I love some of the blogging FB groups I’ve joined, but I also think they make you realise how far you’ve got to go, when long-term bloggers talk about opportunities and follower numbers! Blogging is hard work and there is no point burning ourselves out at the beginning. So I’m going with the flow more and not worrying if I don’t post an IG image for a few days etc. Life’s more important! x

  12. Reply

    kristin mccarthy

    Yep- such similiar feelings. I started blogging three months ago. Some days I am over the moon writing, publishing, articles getting snatched up….then a week later nothing….NOTHING. It is quite a steep learning curve, but I really am loving the experience.

    #picknmix

  13. Reply

    A Cornish Mum

    I ignore any rules about what others think I should be doing and I do my blog in my own way. At the end of the day blogging is meant to be fun, you should enjoy doing it so there is no point putting pressure on yourself. It’s about finding your own way of how you want to do things, but knowing that deviating won’t cause the Universe to implode 🙂

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Absolutely. As time goes on I’m realising this more and more. It’s so easy to get caught up in what you ‘should’ be doing, when actually your blog is your very own space and you can do whatever you like! x

  14. Reply

    Mummy and monkeys

    I’m pretty sure I was just talking to myself on my blog for the first few months, I had no idea there were scheduled, linky’s or Facebook blogger groups. Some weeks I’m much more on it than others and I’ve learnt to go with the flow. It is hard sometimes though, I’m w perfectionist too. Thanks for linking to #picknmix

    Eilidh x

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      I think I was lucky to find ‘You baby Me Mummy’ very early in my blogging life. Aby has so many great tips that I literally went through her posts and tried to use as many as I could. I need to go back now and see what I should be doing next! x

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *