Stay-At-Home Mums Deserve A Weekend Too

September 2, 2016

Weekend

I’m at the beginning of my stay-at-home mum adventure, but one thing is for sure – I look forward to the weekend. Recently I read a forum conversation where someone commented to a stay-at-home mum, ‘Why are you so excited for the weekend? It must always be like a weekend for you.’ Umm, pardon, what?! I nearly choked on my martini that is required most evenings, in order to recover from the trauma of a full day with a toddler.

Here we go again with the mummy wars…I work harder, I’m more stressed, I need a weekend more than you…It drives me mad. Anyone who has spent time with children surely knows the pure exhaustion and mental torture that is involved. Maybe I’m naïve, but I really don’t understand how fellow mums can belittle each other so easily. We’re all working our butts off. We’re all juggling. We’re all trying to smile through the constant self-doubt. Why the hell can’t we all enjoy a weekend without criticism?

I’ve had the full-on office job. I’ve dealt with crazy working hours, last-minute travel and the expectation to be available 24/7. I know how tiring it is and how desperately I used to need the weekends. But now I’m a stay-at-home mum I still have the right to look forward to two days a week when I’ve got a teammate. When Hubster can be there ALL DAY to back me up, catch the food as it’s flying, stop the cat getting attacked and deal with the toddler meltdowns.

BEING AT HOME ISN’T LESS WORK, IT’S DIFFERENT WORK

I don’t daydream about weekends like I used to. Life has changed and the lazy, breakfast in bed days have been replaced with early morning wake-ups and soft play. Some days I just want to roll over and sleep for as long as I want, but that’s not what I signed up for. I chose this motherhoodery malarkey and I’m in for the long haul. In the last 14 months, I’ve only been apart from Tutti for short periods here and there. In some ways I wish I had more time away, but mostly I’m savouring every minute. I’ll have to share him with the world soon enough.

Even though I no longer work outside the home, my days are still full, tiring and physically exhausting. I’m really enjoying blogging, but it comes with a never-ending to-do list. So it’s another piece of the puzzle to fit into our hectic schedule. By the time Hubster gets home I’m usually rocking in a corner, counting the minutes until alcohol is allowed.

My favourite time of the week has always been Friday night – the excitement of a whole weekend ahead. In my youth it signalled ‘hanging out with friends’ night, ‘drinks’ night and always a fun night. Even though those carefree times are gone I still love this time of the week. Yes I’m a stay-at-home mum, but no I don’t live a relaxed life of luxury during the week.

Stay-at-home mums deserve a weekend too - Tutti investigating the fridge
Chores take a lot longer when this one is ‘helping’!

SO HERE ARE 5 REASONS I LOOK FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND

 *It’s two against one
Before I was promoted to the role of mother, I had no idea about the constant nature of parenting. You are never off the clock, you are there to meet the needs of your children every second of every day. And some days it feels like I’m on the losing end of a small person’s demands. Weekends signal a shift in my favour. Two adults to one little human. Everything is easier when there are two of you. Humongous poo? No worries, one can clean and one can dispose. Dinner all over the floor? No problemo, one can hoover and one can mop up the perpetrator.

*We’re a trio
I love one-on-one time with my little prince. We go everywhere together. He’s the Tutti to my Frutti. But it often feels like someone is missing and he is…Daddy. Hubster is a fantabulous dad and Tutti adores him, so the weekends allow us to all be together. Whether it’s playing cars on the lounge floor or a grand day out, it’s much more fun with three.

*No schedule
As a general rule I like structure and routine. From Monday to Friday we have a loose schedule featuring toddler groups, playdates, blogging, chores, errands and the all important naps. I feel more in control when I know what my week looks like. But at the weekend I enjoy the freedom of not having a schedule. Unless we’ve made plans, we have a leisurely breakfast (usually accompanied by dancing in the kitchen), pop out wherever the fancy takes us and attempt to achieve some things off the sodding to-do list.

*Mummy mornings
For the first few months of my little human’s life I didn’t have any time to myself. I was still coming out of the newborn fog. After one particularly stressful week Hubster suggested I pop out for a coffee toute seule. To be honest I jumped at the chance and have never looked back. I realised in that one hour I felt totally refreshed. I felt normal. So now I make sure that every now and again I have a mummy morning. Usually I go for a stroll around the shops and always have an extravagant breakfast. It’s just a few hours on a Saturday, but it’s enough to rejuvenate me.

*Permission to break the rules
Whilst weekdays can become monotonous and predictable, weekends open up whole new possibilities. Since having Tutti we make more effort to go out and about (mainly because staying in the house with a small person makes you a bit cray cray). If I’ve been struggling in the week, I hold on to the hope of a splendid weekend. A time to eat chocolate for breakfast, reach for the alcohol earlier than usual and discover more places to entertain a rampaging toddler.

So whether you’re a stay-at-home mum, working mum, work-at-home mum, part-time working mum or a bloomin’ unicorn, you have every right to enjoy your weekend or day off. Let’s just agree we are all working hard and we all deserve a good time.

Dear Bear and Beany
Mr and Mrs T Plus Three
A Cornish Mum
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45 Comments

  1. Reply

    sarah (mumx3x)

    Being a SAHM is hard work and yes us stay at home mums deserve a weekend, too! I also like a good routine and structure, my children are older but even so, routine is important! 🙂 Great post #TheList

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      A lady after my own heart! x

  2. Reply

    Robyn

    You are doing the most important job in the world, you deserve to have a break every once in a while, the more frequent the better!

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Thank you Robyn. Fist pump to you too! x

  3. Reply

    Mads

    I love the weekends – weekends away with the girlfriends even more so! x

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Absolutely, it’s lovely to be yourself sometimes! x

  4. Reply

    Kat

    As a WAHM I really do look forward to our weekends, well, my partner’s weekend is Friday and Saturday but it means it’s one day a week I don’t have to do the school run, and every other weekend when my daughter isn’t with her dad we all get to spend together. My partner also works nights so before my daughter was at school I hardly had any time to myself, now I do and you’re so right, having a bit of ‘me’ time really gets me back on track and ready to take on the 100’s of questions my daughter will ask in a space of about five minutes! We all deserve some time off! #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Oh gosh Kat, I haven’t got to the 100’s of questions stage yet. He babbles so much though, I keep saying he’s going to be a talker…god help me! x

  5. Reply

    Kirsty @ winnettes

    Oh yes! Weekends are very much looked forward to. I became a stay at home mum in April after not being able to afford two children in nursery. It’s really hard. You’re right it’s not harder work or easier work, it’s just different. But come the weekends I’m in desperate need of another adults company and a little team work.
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      I’m yet to navigate nursery, but I know the costs are prohibitive for many. Tutti is due to start a couple of mornings next year, so it’ll be interesting! Exactly, SAHM work isn’t easier or harder, just different. x

  6. Reply

    Peachy and her Mommy

    Maybe the moms that say you don’t need a weekend have nannies. Raising a human is a very demanding job. #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Ha, love this! Demanding with a capital ‘D’. x

  7. Reply

    Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons

    I totally relate to this – I always look forward to the weekends now (much more than when I was working full time). It’s having your family all together, but also having a partner there to make things easier. I tend to save up our best outings for the weekend too so that we can all do them together. Weekends are magical! Thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove – I really hope we see you again this week!

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      I do the same Katy, keep the best outings for the weekend. Lovely to have something to look forward to. x

  8. Reply

    Laura - dear bear and beany

    I can relate to this. I live for the weekends when my husband doesn’t work and we can not only be a family. But we are a team, I am a better mum when he is around. Life just seems that little bit easier with 2 pairs of hands. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove X

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      You’ve hit the nail on the head Laura – ‘I am a better mum when he is around.’ This is exactly how I feel. x

  9. Reply

    Rosie @ Little Fish

    Yes! Nodded along to all of this. Friday is literally my favourite day! Much as I love my two, I love the weekends when I get more than 2 seconds to myself! x

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      We’re on hump day, so not long until Friday – yay! x

  10. Reply

    the frenchie mummy

    And you are so right to say so! I think people don’t get it until they experience it themselves. I used to do the same and wondered why my colleagues who were mummies always complained. I was secretly jealous of them being part-time. Now I understand! Being a mummy myself, I realise that being a SAHM is not being on holiday! Love your photos on instagram by the way, your little one is gorgeous x #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Ha, absolutely, and being on holiday isn’t a holiday with children either! Aww thank you, so glad you like my Instagram bits and bobs. x

  11. Reply

    Lucy At Home

    Yes, Yes, Yes! Great post! I’m a SAHM too and it is hard work. Being a mummy is hardwork however many hours a week you do it. I love the weekends for all the reasons you’ve mentioned, especially being a complete family, and having a little license to bend the rules a little! #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Aww thanks Lucy! Us mums, we like to bend the rules 😊 x

  12. Reply

    Tooting Mama

    Hell yeah! Bring ob the weekend! I’m a stay at home mummy and can’t wait for the weekends, and some evenings when I have bagged a night out. Now the kids are older they get their own breakfast at the weekend (result!). You’re time will come!

    1. Reply

      Tooting Mama

      #SharingtheBlogLove!

    2. Reply

      Kirsty

      Wow, getting their own breakfast – this is something I aspire to! Hooray it’s Friday 😊 x

  13. Reply

    Mrs O - Candid Cake Club

    Love this. You hit every single nail on the head. The role of ‘Mum’ is by far the most intense but rewarding job I’ve ever had! And even though I work on a Saturday morning I still always look forward to the weekend. Hope you have a great one (tomorrow is Fri-yay woo-hoo!) & thanks for sharing a great post x #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Aww thanks Mrs O – so glad you enjoyed it. Friday is here, whoop whoop! x

  14. Reply

    Taryn - 3 little ladies and me

    I’m a stay at home mum too and can relate to this, it can be super hard and all the days roll into one. I think all mums regardless of whether they are working or at home need to support each other and cheer each other on, we’re all just doing our best and we all need a break, loving the ideas of ‘mummy mornings’ and am scheduling one in ASAP! #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      You’re so right, all the days do roll into one. I never know the date because I don’t have to write it a hundred times, like when you’re in an office job. There definitely needs to be more mum cheering and a lot less bashing. I’ve got a mummy morning tomorrow – HOORAY! Defo get one booked in, you’ll feel like a new woman. x

  15. Reply

    Sarah Stockley

    Yes, I used to work part-time and I’d get told in my office on a Tuesday “enjoy you’re weekend – it must be nice to ONLY work 2 days a week”. Errr yeah – but I have 3 kids, much harder work than anything I do in the office, oh and you don’t get paid! I love the weekends too. Sarah #SharingTheBlogLove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      People can be so delightful can’t they! I would never dream of saying that to someone – even pre-motherhood. God, if we got paid we’d all be extremely wealthy 😉 x

  16. Reply

    Susie - This Is Me Now

    Heck yes to this! I’m a SAHM too and by Friday night I am bloody knackered!! Some days in the week the wine has to come out before Friday just to help take the edge off! Not saying it’s ‘harder’ but yes it’s different and still tiring. I love our weekends for the extra pair of hands, family time and how much my girl loves her Daddy. Such a good post! Xx

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Oh yes to the mid-week wine! x

  17. Reply

    Rebecca Taylor

    So well said Kirsty! A fabulous post. And a Mummy morning is such a good idea! Thank you for sharing #Sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Aww thanks Rebecca, so glad you enjoyed it. Mummy mornings are definitely the way forward! x

  18. Reply

    Karen TwoTinyHands

    Yay for the weekends!! I’m a stay at home mum too it’s great, but agree weekends are awesome unless hubby say on a Friday he’s got to work Saturday like he did today :/. Tutti to my fruity he he #sharethebloglove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Oh I know I hate it when I think I’ve got Hubster for the weekend and then remember he has organised to do something. Weekends are sacred! x

  19. Reply

    Soppymum (Sara)

    Love this post! Thank you. It is very different from the work I used to do but it is more tiring and I do miss adult conversation! Think I might introduce a mummy morning, sounds excellent!!!! Thank you #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Definitely introduce a Mummy Morning, it’s the way forward! x

  20. Reply

    Louise

    I have just gone back to work after my third baby and 13 and s half months off work. I work condensed hours so my days at work are long. I can safely say that being at home with my children is much harder than my working days. Even on my working days I have often put in a full days work before my colleagues have had their first sip of coffee at their desks. You absolutely deserve your weekend as much as anyone else. Whatever our choices we’re in this together. Great post. #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Absolutely Louise, we are in this together. That’s why I think it’s such a shame that so much mum-bashing goes on across social media.x

  21. Reply

    Laura Clark

    A great post! I work part time, only 2 days a week, and I always joke that those two day are my weekend lol! My hat goes off to full time SAHMs, I honestly don’t know how you do it xx #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Aww thanks Laura. Usually with vast quantities of alcohol! x

  22. Reply

    A Cornish Mum

    I love the weekends as everyone is home, during the week it is just me working at home. Mostly that’s pretty ace and peaceful, but I do miss them all. Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix 🙂

    Stevie x

    1. Reply

      Kirsty

      Oh gosh, what I’d give for child-free days to work 😉 It seems like an impossible task at the moment! x

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